Yeah, Right, Lisa. A Wonderful, Magical Animal.

Do any of us actually stop and think, before we eat Thanksgiving dinner, that this turkey was once a living, breathing creature?  How about before we sink our teeth into that burger?  And why is it that some of us find the idea of eating a cow's buttocks so much more appealing than eating its tongue?  Why is it okay to eat a slimy fish that you caught at the lake but not a cat?  

On a separate topic, I think that the vegan diet is a result of too many city people with nothing to do thinking too much.  You would think more exposure to the actual event of killing an animal for food would make people less likely to eat that animal, but farmers don't seem to have any trouble ringing a chicken's neck, ripping out all its guts, pulling off all its feathers, roasting it in an oven, and then savoring every bite.  No, I think it's because the ignorant city folk feel betrayed.  They grow up with cute stuffed cows, cow decorations, and cow cartoon characters.  When it finally dawns on them that they are eating Betsy every time they go to Burger King, they get upset.  If they were around the cows like the farmers, ranchers, and dairy workers who slaughter them, they would realize what disgusting and stupid animals they are.  Then they would have no objections.  

"Liiiisaaa! Don't eeeeat me!"

Mailman Steve

I propose we build a memorial for "Mailman Steve" Padgett.  He's not dead yet, but he's got diabetes and heart disease so we'd better get started.

Mailman Steve worked for the U.S. Postal Service and stopped delivering junk mail in 1999.  And guess what...  Nobody complained!

Unfortunately, a utility worker (let's lynch him!) turned in our hero.  His customers, of course, were not upset with him when they were informed of his "crime."  But he was given a $3000 fine, 500 hours of community service, and three years probation.

If everyone who hates junk mail would send Mailman Steve a quarter, we could make him a rich man!  Way to go Steve!

Proverbs

I wish I had the Proverbs from the Bible memorized.  There are so many of them that would be perfect to bust out in every day situations.  Here are some examples:

You're minding your own business, playing a little Xbox, and your wife won't stop bugging you to take out the trash.

You say, "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.  Proverbs 27:15."

Sister So-and-So's child won't behave in your primary class.

You say, "Sister So-and-So, Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14."

You go out with friends and your friend's wife keeps blabbing about shoes or fat-free dressing or you-don't-know-what because you stopped listening.

You say, "A fool uttereth all [her] mind, but a wise [woman] keepeth it in till afterwards. Proverbs 29:11."

Your daughter wants to buy the latest copy of Seventeen magazine with Paris Hilton on the cover.

You say, "A whore is a deep ditch. Proverbs 23:27."

You ask you chemistry student what the atomic number of oxygen is.  He says he doesn't know.

You say, "In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found; but a rod for the back of him that is void of understanding. Proverbs 10:13."

Good stuff.

Arrested!

After doing some hard time in the big house, Jacob is out on bail.  While in the slammer he managed not to drop the soap in the shower or get shanked in the yard over a carton of cigs.  His only regret is that he wasn't awarded a conjugal visit.

Way to Go New Hampshire!

Great news! The state of New Hampshire is implementing one of my ideas! (Apparently, it wasn't an original Miles idea.)

Read the sixth proposal in my "Money and Education" entry and then read the following article:

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1857336,00.html?xid=feed-yahoo-full-nation-related

I was so excited that I commented on Yahoo's Buzz feature:

"I absolutely agree with what New Hampshire is doing. Students serious about college are stifled and bored. Students not interested in college are miserable and resentful. Everyone just ends up wasting their time and the school district's resources. This is the kind of innovation our educational system needs!"

Prop 8

I thought I was done with politics for a while. Truthfully, I'm tired of politics. It felt good to do a blog about Snow Football Day. But the protests in California, especially in front of the temple, have been thought provoking and I can't help but share my feelings on the subject.

What is the push behind the legalization of gay marriage in California? Will they be awarded additional legal benefits? Homosexual couples in a "domestic relationship" in California are already given practically every benefit and privilege awarded to heterosexual married couples. Or is it a civil rights question? The battlecry is "equality." They say they want the American people, including the LDS church, to confirm that they are equal. Equal as people? Equal in worth?

The LDS church, the gay and lesbian community's new favorite target, has repeatedly stated its position that homosexuals are of equal worth--that the church reaches out to them and its members regard them as their brothers and sisters. But homosexuals want the American people to confirm the principle that their relationships are equal to that which is had between a man and a woman bound in holy matrimony. This we cannot do. It is not hatred or bigotry. It is simply stating our belief that marriage is a sacred institution and that a homosexual relationship is not that sacred institution!

It is not a fundamental right to "marry whoever I want." Heterosexuals don't have that right either! If I wanted to marry anyone or anything besides an adult woman not too closely related to me, do you think the government would recognize that union? Do you think the church would champion my cause? Marriage is not simply an expression of love. LDS church members believe it has an Eternal purpose. And whether you call it a marriage or not, a homosexual union will never fulfil that purpose.

To ask members of the church to deny that is to ask us to deny our beliefs. Do they think that I would go to church if I didn't believe what is being taught? Is it some kind of social club? No! It's hard work! It requires sacrifice!

As far as the "seperation of church and state" issue goes... I don't care what kind of legislation is in question, if you are going to make a decision to support it or oppose it you will make that decision based on what you believe is right. If some Americans actually believe in religion, church will affect what they believe and church will always have an effect on government issues. As long as religion exists, the two are inseperable.

Snow Football!!!

There is no annual event that I anticipate with more excitement than snow football. Better than the 4th of July, better than Thanksgiving, better than Christmas. Snow football day is the highlight of the year. (I guess it'll be pretty cool when my child is born, but that's not until February.)

On Snow Football Day (yes, I've decided to capitalize it) I get to be Steve Young, Jerry Rice, Lawrence Taylor and Barry Sanders all rolled into one. It is my Superbowl. I will throw touchdown passes while absorbing big hits from sisters-in-law, I will juke and stiff arm little sisters and leave them in a flurry of white powder, I will tackle brothers with bone-jarring hits, I will throw decleating blocks to break long runs for nieces, I will stuff rushing friends to complete magnificent goal line stands and, if he has the courage to show up, I will sack my dad when he tries to sit in the pocket too long.

Then I will go inside and have some hot chocolate.

So if you're going to be within driving distance of Utah valley around Christmas, keep your cleats with you and your eyes on the weather. Here's a little video to get you all as pumped up as I am.


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