Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Master Romney

In 24 days I will receive my MSPAS. That's Master of Science in Physician Assistant Studies. After receiving my degree, patients and colleagues will still address me as "Miles," "the PA," "that guy," or "hey, you." Maybe in a few years when I've got some wrinkles and gray hair they'll call me Mr. Romney.

If people with doctorates are called doctors, why is there no special title for people with masters degrees?

After I graduate, I will insist that everyone call me Master Romney.

Not really. I like "Miles."

(Besides, then people would have to start calling my wife "Bachelor Romney.")

Independence Day

Why do we always call it "the 4th of July"? Today is the 7th of July. So what? Why don't we call it Independence Day? Calling it "the 4th of July" is like calling Thanksgiving "Turkey Day." Or Christmas "Xmas." It's like we're trying to forget the reason behind the holiday.

Anyway, I had a good INDEPENDENCE DAY. We grilled steaks and played with some cheap fireworks. Zo was more interested in sucking on his blanket than blowing things up. After we ate, there was a thunderstorm. We sat beneath an umbrella on our back patio, covered with a sleeping back, and watched the lightening, thunder, rain, and hail. After it was over, we enjoyed the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. It was a double rainbow that stretched from the northeast to the southeast horizon.

We watched fireworks later that night, but they didn't compare to nature's lightening and rainbow shows.

Next summer we'll be in Missouri. Then we'll see some REAL thunderstorms.

Friday, July 3, 2009

License to Il

You've got to love a good villain. Darth Vader, the Joker, Professor Ratigan, the Terminator, Mr. Potter, Yosemite Sam, Mugatu... Where would cinema be without good villains?

And where would the drama playing out on the world stage be without Kim Jong Il?

He has all the qualities that make a great villain.

1. Looks: From his quasi-working class jumpsuit to his old lady glasses to his Ernie hairdo to his liver spots, the guy clears the comic ugliness bar with ease.

2. Evil: Kim Jong Il may have gotten off to a splendidly evil start at the age of 5 when he reportedly caused his brother to drown. He made good use of the next 63 years by seizing control of communist North Korea, watching his people starve while living in luxurious palaces and private resorts, forcing his mistress's husband to divorce her, planting bombs on a South Korean plane (killing 115) and in the hotel where the South Korean president was staying (killing 17), and belligerently threatening the world with nuclear holocaust.

3. Narcissism: He makes his subjects call him "Dear Leader" and "Dear Father," he calls himself an "internet expert," he claims to have written six operas in two years, he wrote a book entitled "On the Art of Cinema," and he claims to hit three or four holes-in-one per round of golf.

4. Aspirations Toward World Domination: He reminds me of Syndrome on "The Incredibles." He wants to be a hero but no one pays attention to him. So he decides to build terrible weapons and threaten the very existence of man. "This will make them notice me!"

Oh, what a boring world it would be without the comedic ravings of Kim Jong Il.