10. Childhood obesity is one of our nation's most daunting healthcare problems.
9. He whips his reindeer and exploited Rudolph's birth defect.
8. Can you really trust a man with so many aliases?
7. Santa's sleigh would have to weigh 350,000 tons and travel 650 miles per second to deliver toys to all Christian children which would create enough friction to instantly burn him to death and really isn't very good science for our children to be learning.
6. Did anyone else notice, as a child, that Santa always brought the rich kids better toys? Sometimes he even passed the poor kids by!
5. If you switch the "n" and the "t" you get "Satna" and you're only one more letter swap from "Satan."
4. He's obsessed with hos.
3. Elf slavery.
2. Breaking and entering.
1. It's not Clausmas. It's Christmas.
7 comments:
i love santa. i think this was a very scrogge like post. christmas is about joy and laughter and happiness and positivity and children and toys and all the good things in life so ... maybe you should list all the things you LIKE about santa. i will start. i like that he laughs. you go.
I like that he's not a big, weird bunny carrying candy. That's another great lesson for kids. Take candy from strangers. I bet the Easter Bunny is a pedophile.
First, I'd like to mention that Rebekah miss-spelled Scrooge, and therefore couldn't know too much about what's going on.
Second, Santa may be considered good as he brings attention to Christmas, which may also lead to thinking about Christ.
Santa's a drunk!
james, that is the kind of mistake that is obviously an accident, not an indicator of my knowledge on the subject. spelling errors are acceptable when it's 1:30 in the morning and you're typing quickly.
Haha! Rebekah misspelled Scrooge! Dummy Rebekah face!
Jared and i just watched Santa is coming to town...its the whole story of santa made in the 60's or 70's or whatever. Anyways his little cartoon wife is really pretty...her name is Jessica. So I like him cause MRs. Claus used to be hot. Plus if she can let herself go...it means I can too...and Celeste too. Don't lock her in a closet or Mrs. Claus is going to come kick your behind.
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