Thursday, April 10, 2008

Substitute Words

If "profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully," then substitute words are even more feeble. How many ways are there to say the "f-word" in the Utah/southern Idaho vernacular? Freak, frick, frack, frig, fudge, eff... How about the "s-word"? Shoot, shniky, shiz, shiznit, scheisa (which a lot of people don't realize is still profanity)... If we can't use the real thing, can't we get a little more creative than that?

I propose that we use real words rather than imaginary words as a substitute for profane words. For example, rather than sh*t we can say "stool" or "feces."

"I feel like stool today."
"He got the feces beat out of him."

Rather than f*ck, we can say "copulate" or "intercourse."

"Copulate you, mother copulator!"
"What the intercourse?"

Such words can even be combined to completely and successfully replace swear words.

"That's copulating bull stool!"
"That copulator is a bad-bottom."

(My point is that the use of profanity or substitute words makes no sense.)

1 comment:

NanRomn said...

My contemplations, exactly.