Sunday, October 12, 2008

Spruce Grouse

I was watching Wild America (remember Marty Stouffer?) and learned about the mating ritual of the spruce grouse. The male spruce grouse has to work ridiculously hard for a little ornithological lovin'.

First, he has to show off his fluttering skills. He flies up into a tree (not an easy task for those fat birds) and then beats his wings noisily and flutters to the ground. He does this over and over again for several days, despite the danger of attracting the attention of predators. The female just sits there judging. Hmm... Which male is the sexiest flutterer?

Finally, she scorns the less desirable flutterers and joins her champion on the forest floor. But he's not done yet. No siree. He's been working his tail feathers off for several days flying up and down from that tree and he's exhausted. But now it's time to dance. So the female sits there eating popcorn while the male dances for her for two or three days! After this week long ritual (and after he's probably too tired to enjoy it) she finally accepts him and they mate.

I was horrified. The injustice! What does she have to make him work so hard for? What if human women were like that? Then it hit me. Some of them are.

First you have to impress them with good looks, personality, brains, and (most importantly) lucrative employment. Then you have to buy them jewelry, give them flowers, make excessive and exaggerated complements, and give in to all their demands. Well, to all you human spruce grouses out there, the moral of the story came at the end of the show.

When it's all over, the male spruce grouse chases the female out of his territory and won't have anything to do with her.

6 comments:

Tyler said...

And many are surprised with me when I say I hate dating. Glad to see it's just not human males who have as much trouble.

Rebekah said...

i would like to point out that the spruce grouse is one of the ugliest birds i've ever seen. of course he has to work hard. he's the equivalent of an ugly boy who gets a sweet job and then dumps his girlfriend in the end.

let's look at the better looking bird's mating rituals and you will see that not all birds have to work so hard to get a mate. just the ugly ones.

Jen R. said...

I wish Jared was a little more like the Spruce Grouse...except the end part.

Elder James Romney said...

Notice that usually humans have to work for a bit longer than a week, and they're looked down upon if they kick their spouse out.

miles said...

Rebekah, that picture is of the female. Another bad thing about being a spruce grouse--the males are pretty and the females plain.

NanRomn said...

Yeah, when the REAL work is coming, and she finally trusts him, then he deserts her. You're right--it is a lot like humans.