The CDC recently published a study on STDs. Apparently, 1 in 4 girls between the ages of 14 and 19 has an STD. Huh? Say that again. Yeah, that's right. 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD! I'm talking about syphilis! HIV! Gonorrhea! Genital herpes! Genital warts! Chlamydia! Trichomoniasis! 1 in 4!
Alright, so if I'm a teenage boy with testosterone surging through my veins, drooling at every skirt that prances by (okay, not every skirt--even teenage boys have some standards), I'm taking a step back. Whoah! 1 in 4! No matter how violently my hormones are raging, I do NOT want giant lesions on my genitals. Ooh, but she looks so good. What are my chances of getting away with this?
Well, math is not my forte, but I'm pretty sure 1 in 4 means there's a 25% chance she's got an STD. If I succumb to my base urges, I've got a 75% chance of hooking up with an STD-free "woman of loose morals." When my brain is overwhelmed by my gonads that doesn't sound so bad. Well, along comes girl #2. Now I've got a 56% chance of getting away with it. Well, like we dated for like all of junior year and then she totally turned into a [expletive]. So I hooked up with girl #3. Now I've got a 42% chance of STD-free lovin'. In other words, after 3 girls there's a larger probability that I slept with a girl that has an STD than there is that I haven't. 4 girls? 31%. 5 girls? 23%.
Let's think about 1 more factor. The 1 in 4 statistic includes girls with high morals. Take them out of the equation and just leave the floozies and they've got a much higher rate of STDs. And the fact that this girl is willing to sleep with a teenage boy means her standards are preeeeetty low. That makes her a floozy and my odds just got a whole lot worse.
So if I'm a teenage boy...I'm keeping my pants on.
Alright, so if I'm a teenage boy with testosterone surging through my veins, drooling at every skirt that prances by (okay, not every skirt--even teenage boys have some standards), I'm taking a step back. Whoah! 1 in 4! No matter how violently my hormones are raging, I do NOT want giant lesions on my genitals. Ooh, but she looks so good. What are my chances of getting away with this?
Well, math is not my forte, but I'm pretty sure 1 in 4 means there's a 25% chance she's got an STD. If I succumb to my base urges, I've got a 75% chance of hooking up with an STD-free "woman of loose morals." When my brain is overwhelmed by my gonads that doesn't sound so bad. Well, along comes girl #2. Now I've got a 56% chance of getting away with it. Well, like we dated for like all of junior year and then she totally turned into a [expletive]. So I hooked up with girl #3. Now I've got a 42% chance of STD-free lovin'. In other words, after 3 girls there's a larger probability that I slept with a girl that has an STD than there is that I haven't. 4 girls? 31%. 5 girls? 23%.
Let's think about 1 more factor. The 1 in 4 statistic includes girls with high morals. Take them out of the equation and just leave the floozies and they've got a much higher rate of STDs. And the fact that this girl is willing to sleep with a teenage boy means her standards are preeeeetty low. That makes her a floozy and my odds just got a whole lot worse.
So if I'm a teenage boy...I'm keeping my pants on.
3 comments:
I'm glad you're already married.
Rebekah - my thoughts exactly.
Miles - I wish all teenage boys would think so rationally....
Post a Comment