Emphasis on the -Fi

I took a break from real life yesterday and watched some Star Wars. Don't get me wrong, I like Star Wars. As a kid I was even a little bit obsessed with Star Wars. But I realized yesterday that it just doesn't hold the magic it once did.

I also noticed that George Lucas should have hired a physicist to consult during the writing and filming of all 6 episodes.


Here are some things that bug me about Star Wars.


Sound in Space -- You wouldn't really be able to hear the screeching whoosh of TIE fighters and the blast of laser cannons. Sound travels through matter, not empty space.


Walking Around on an Asteroid -- Han Solo, Leia, and Chewbacca all grab oxygen masks and walk around in a cave (which *spoiler alert* turns out to be a creature) on an asteroid. Are you telling me that there is enough atmosphere on that asteroid to provide the warmth and air pressure they need to survive? I also noticed that the gravity seems pretty strong for an asteroid that size.


Buzz Droids and Wind Resistance -- R2 (R4?) finally vanquishes the buzz droid on Obi Wan's ship. The buzz droid falls and is swept off the wing as if some force was pushing it backwards. Even if it slipped off the ship, wouldn't its momentum carry it alongside the ship in the absence of atmosphere?


Darth Vader's Skill with the Blade -- The Jedi and Sith in the first 3 episodes are incredible swordsmen. They hop around like superninjas. Suddenly, in Episode 4, Obi Wan and Darth Vader seem pretty rusty.


0.5 Past Lightspeed -- Han brags about his ship, stating that it can do 0.5 past lightspeed. Then they make the jump to lightspeed and stars start streaking by. I don't know how it is in that galaxy far, far away, but here the closest star would take almost 3 years to reach at 1.5 times the speed of light.


Samuel L. Jackson -- Samuel L. Jackson


Jar Jar Binks -- Jar Jar Binks


Stormbloopers -- Stormtroopers are the quintessential action movie bad guys. They are total idiots and terrible shots. They shoot at our heroes all day and hit nothing. Then Princess Leia whips around and cracks off a running hip shot that nails a stormtrooper square in the chest. And what is that ridiculous armor for, anyway? They can't run very well, and it doesn't protect them. Lazers go right through it. Ewoks take them out with blunt arrows and stone hatchets, for crying out loud!


Anakin and Padme (the Actors) -- Say what you will about the dialogue. (How do you say, "Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?" without laughing?) I know it's got to be tough to work with, but Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil, and Carey Fisher pulled it off. These new guys were terrible. In a monotone voice he says, "If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me."