If I was a millionaire, I'd buy about 100 acres of forested land and build a SWEET backyard! The backyard visible from our beautiful house would be classy and traditional. But hidden behind the trees... Here's what you'd find:
1. Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. It would have at least 3 different sections with a tower that protruded from the forest canopy and had a view of the entire 100 acres. It would also have a zip line. The walls would have loop holes so we could defend the treehouse in paintball battles.
2. Go-Kart Track. I'd have at least 4 go-karts that we could race around the track. It would be an off-road track, with natural obstacles, about a quarter mile long, that wound through the forest. Spectators could make themselves comfortable in the treehouse with lawn chairs and an ice chest. I wish I could figure out a way to fire red turtle shells at each other. I'm a gonna win!
3. Basketball Court. It would be a pretty standard outdoor court for the most part. Concrete floor, painted lines, and a chain link fence so we don't have to chase the ball everywhere. But the backboards would be nice, glass backboards with break-away rims that you can crank up and down to the preferred height. (I'm too old to dunk on 10-foot rims anymore.) I'd also have stadium lighting so we could play as late as we wanted.
4. Life-Size Chess Board. Maybe I'd put it under the treehouse so we could get a good view of the board from above.
5. Paintball Battlefield. Plywood buildings would form an urban setting while trenches, bunkers, and the forest would provide variety. I'd make a teepee out of paintball netting that we could set up where ever we wanted. Spectators could sit right in the middle of the battle sipping on ice cold lemonade without fear of being hit by paintballs. The treehouse could be defended. Assaults could be launched from speeding go-karts. I'm getting goosebumps.
6. Soccer/Football Field. Away from the mayhem of the paintball field, I'd have a pristine grass field with soccer goals. We might put up a short fence with a backstop behind the goals to keep from having to chase the ball all the time. Like the basketball court, it would have stadium lighting so we could play after dark. In fact, we might put it right next to the basketball court to form a sports complex.
7. Shooting Range. I'd just clear an alley in the trees about 200 yards long. Then I'd put up targets depending on whether we were shooting rifles, pistols, shotguns, or bows.
8. Swimming Pool. The swimming pool can actually be placed in the traditional backyard behind the house. It will have a deep end with a diving board but, more importantly, it will have a shallow end with basketball goals on each side. About 4 feet deep all the way across. We'll paint three-point lines on the floor of the pool. We'll keep an ice chest handy for injuries. No Lifeguard on Duty.
9. Bonfire Pit. Why not?
10. Mud Field. Snow football is great when the stars align to give me a snowy field and enough players for a game. But with a hose and a plow, I can simulate the snowy field. Year-round snow football! You can keep a change of clothes in the mud room behind the house.
Okay, that's enough for now. But the wheels are still turning. Ideas?
"Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'" --Homer Simpson
I and those who comment on my blog shall become the city fathers of our own community. We shall sit in council clucking our tongues, stroking our beards, and talking about "what's to be done with [person/topic]."
I and those who comment on my blog shall become the city fathers of our own community. We shall sit in council clucking our tongues, stroking our beards, and talking about "what's to be done with [person/topic]."
18 comments:
i love it. but you have to make it really pretty. remember in civilization how you could build hanging gardens? well i think you should have an amazing gardener to make everything look awesome. And i think the paintball stuff should be as far from everything as you can get - no where near the treehouse. that is a ridiculous idea. you can build a separate tree house to defend in the paintball battlefield. also, i think there should be a river in the paintball battlefield. so we can use boats in the wars. i love boats. maybe a huge lake out at the end of the property, too. so we could have boat wars without the paint. or just normal boating activities like wakeboarding. if you ever learn how to do that. remember when josh's dad was making fun of you? haha.
anyway, i love this post. i love this idea. i will come over all the time.
ok - and also, it should have a waterfall area like on swiss fam robinson. by the tree house of course. i dont know how you're going to make it that cool unless you live on that island, but you could do something to that effect.
question: is this in missouri? because i feel like that makes a difference. it matters if there will be lakes/rivers. also, it matters what kidn of trees you plant. something that really bothers me is when the leaves from trees end up in the pool. that is disgusting and very white-trashy. so i think you should take that into account.
oh and also - animals. these are the animals i think you should have:
1. monkeys. to go with the treehouse.
2. dogs - labs because i love them.
3. maybe a dangerous animal for the river, like a crocodile. because that would add to the fun in the paintball wars. he's like an extra defender for the river side. oh that would be so cool!
4. an animal you can ride. also to be used in the wars, but sometimes just for fun. i guess it could be horses but i think something else would be fun. camels maybe. but they're not very fast. same with elephants. maybe you could have a mixture. some for riding fast, some for coolness.
what about underground tunnels? what if we made like a whole different city underground? we could choose the favorite of all the nieces and nephews and let them set up a government to rule the underground city?
oh my gosh. this is so fun.
there could be really big, hollowed out spaces underground. like remember our tents we used to build? we tried to have common rooms and stuff? same concept, but on a way cooler scale. they can have a courtroom down there to judge one another in the breaking of the underground laws. and they could have jails down there to lock up the neighbor kids who sneak in. and torture chambers for the really nasty ones.
it would really suck if the crocodile got loose in the tunnels with the kids down there...
i feel like we're going to need some kind of transportation system to get you from one end to the other. this is a big area. maybe we could have a little trolley system that runs through it or something. I dont think the go karts or the animals would work because those should be stored in a place that is out of the way of people's eyes. so it stays beautiful, you know? so what if we put a trolley starting from the back that kind of twisted through the property so that it could drop you off at each location? maybe it would drop you off a little ways away from the treehouse, just to keep the whole 'in the wild' feel going on. the trolley would be really cute - like san fran style
It's not Disneyland. It's my backyard.
But thanks for the participation.
What you could do is install miniature sized potato guns on the front and back of your go-karts. Rig the trigger mechanism up to the steering wheel. Somehow rig a switch to funnel the exhaust into the guns to cause a pressure build up when you want to fire a shell. Now as for your red turtle shells I don't know how to install a heat seeking mechanism. But you could get a bunch of green turtle shells and just practice at becoming a great marksman/go-karter. Remember always to keep a loaded paintball gun at your side just in case you have a boggie at your six or nine.
And by six I meant three
You would not believe how close this is to a conversation Jared has had with me a million times. His concentrates on the paintball area. I guess we're just going to go in on the romney complex
PS. Rebekah's comment about needing a transportation system is true, but I agree with you about the trolley. That's why I propose golf carts. You could even paint them camo or something. Or just normal, whatever.
swiss family robinson was a great movie, and yes, that was a sweet treehouse...they don't make em like they used to
What? No democracy? You want an oligarchy among the nieces and nephews? Only "the favorite of all the nieces and nephews?"
I just saw a 4 bedroom house on 100 acres for $370,000 in Saline County. It has deer hunting, turkey hunting, and a pond.
If that's too pricey, you can have a 3 bedroom on 82.8 acres for $189,000, also in Saline County. It has 12 acres of pasture, and 70+ acres of wooded land full of deer and wildlife.
This could be a reality.... I love everyone's ideas! I was about to give in and get a city house, but you have made me reconsider.
When you tire of Miles' backyard, maybe you can come over to our place and ride horses.
I think there should be bungie jumping. While shooting paintball guns at each other.
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