Years of television watching have taught my brain to divert "now, for a limited time," "0% APR," and "dah, dah, dah, dah, dah...  I'm lovin' it" into the dumping grounds of my subconscious mind, stamped DNR.  Commercials are a low, annoying background hum while I tune in to another channel of thought.  I play with Zo, talk with Celeste, or think about my next creative project until my filter alerts me that Jack Bauer or Dwight Shrute are back on screen.  I then tune back in to the television.  But occasionally, my filter picks up on something interesting and draws me back to the broadcast prematurely.  (Usually a Victoria's Secret commercial. In such cases I have to overrule my id and go back to tuning out the commercials.)  The other night, the filter caught the tail end of a commercial for a home improvement franchise.  "...for a limited time, only...at Menards!"
Menards?! 
Isn't that what you say when you get hit in the groin with a football?
"Oh, Menards!"
Don't people think before they name their companies? 
I used to pass by an autobody shop called, "Gaylord Fiberglass Truck".  Across the street, I kid you not, was a used car dealership called, "Menlove Auto."  Coincidence?
We also used to pass by a restaurant in Anaheim, CA called "Thai Porn."  I'm sure many potential clients walked out of "Thai Porn" very disappointed.  What was the owner thinking? 
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Well, I just looked it up.  Turns out "porn" means "blessing" in Thailand.  The owner's name is Pornpan.  She named the restaurant after herself on the advice of a fortune teller.  Now that's a fortune teller with a sense of humor.
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4 comments:
Menards got me good. I almost woke up the baby laughing so hard.
I just spent about 15 minutes looking for more funny store names, but they were all pretty dirty and I don't want to have to explain to James what they mean, so I won't put them here.
You're never going to let that go, are you?
Elmer Hare Ford Dealership located in Marshall, MO.
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