Why do we always call it "the 4th of July"? Today is the 7th of July. So what? Why don't we call it Independence Day? Calling it "the 4th of July" is like calling Thanksgiving "Turkey Day." Or Christmas "Xmas." It's like we're trying to forget the reason behind the holiday.
Anyway, I had a good INDEPENDENCE DAY. We grilled steaks and played with some cheap fireworks. Zo was more interested in sucking on his blanket than blowing things up. After we ate, there was a thunderstorm. We sat beneath an umbrella on our back patio, covered with a sleeping back, and watched the lightening, thunder, rain, and hail. After it was over, we enjoyed the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. It was a double rainbow that stretched from the northeast to the southeast horizon.
We watched fireworks later that night, but they didn't compare to nature's lightening and rainbow shows.
Next summer we'll be in Missouri. Then we'll see some REAL thunderstorms.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
License to Il
You've got to love a good villain. Darth Vader, the Joker, Professor Ratigan, the Terminator, Mr. Potter, Yosemite Sam, Mugatu... Where would cinema be without good villains?
And where would the drama playing out on the world stage be without Kim Jong Il?
He has all the qualities that make a great villain.
1. Looks: From his quasi-working class jumpsuit to his old lady glasses to his Ernie hairdo to his liver spots, the guy clears the comic ugliness bar with ease.
2. Evil: Kim Jong Il may have gotten off to a splendidly evil start at the age of 5 when he reportedly caused his brother to drown. He made good use of the next 63 years by seizing control of communist North Korea, watching his people starve while living in luxurious palaces and private resorts, forcing his mistress's husband to divorce her, planting bombs on a South Korean plane (killing 115) and in the hotel where the South Korean president was staying (killing 17), and belligerently threatening the world with nuclear holocaust.
3. Narcissism: He makes his subjects call him "Dear Leader" and "Dear Father," he calls himself an "internet expert," he claims to have written six operas in two years, he wrote a book entitled "On the Art of Cinema," and he claims to hit three or four holes-in-one per round of golf.
4. Aspirations Toward World Domination: He reminds me of Syndrome on "The Incredibles." He wants to be a hero but no one pays attention to him. So he decides to build terrible weapons and threaten the very existence of man. "This will make them notice me!"
Oh, what a boring world it would be without the comedic ravings of Kim Jong Il.
And where would the drama playing out on the world stage be without Kim Jong Il?
He has all the qualities that make a great villain.
1. Looks: From his quasi-working class jumpsuit to his old lady glasses to his Ernie hairdo to his liver spots, the guy clears the comic ugliness bar with ease.
2. Evil: Kim Jong Il may have gotten off to a splendidly evil start at the age of 5 when he reportedly caused his brother to drown. He made good use of the next 63 years by seizing control of communist North Korea, watching his people starve while living in luxurious palaces and private resorts, forcing his mistress's husband to divorce her, planting bombs on a South Korean plane (killing 115) and in the hotel where the South Korean president was staying (killing 17), and belligerently threatening the world with nuclear holocaust.
3. Narcissism: He makes his subjects call him "Dear Leader" and "Dear Father," he calls himself an "internet expert," he claims to have written six operas in two years, he wrote a book entitled "On the Art of Cinema," and he claims to hit three or four holes-in-one per round of golf.
4. Aspirations Toward World Domination: He reminds me of Syndrome on "The Incredibles." He wants to be a hero but no one pays attention to him. So he decides to build terrible weapons and threaten the very existence of man. "This will make them notice me!"
Oh, what a boring world it would be without the comedic ravings of Kim Jong Il.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Chicks and Bikes: Results and Analysis
After an overwhelming turnout of more than 7 votes, the results are in. It turns out that most readers of City Fathers either think that girls who ride motorcycles are awesome or that they're lesbians. (Or I suppose they could be awesome lesbians.) And since I know for a fact that Celeste is not a lesbian (ni me deja dormir!), I have come to the conclusion, by process of elimination, that she will be awesome if she rides motorcycles. Although 25% (2 of you) predicted that she won't ever ride a motorcycle.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Benjamin Button
If Benjamin Button was born old and small, why didn't he die young and big? Why did he grow as he got younger, and then suddenly begin to shrink? He should have have turned into a giant baby for the movie to make any sense.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Maintenance Man
Faithful readers of City Fathers (all 1 or 2 of you) will remember a post entitled "Homestead." If not, here's the link: http://city-fathers.blogspot.com/2009/02/homestead.html
In summary, the idea is that we'll buy a nice chunk of land with a lake and build our houses on it. Then we could build a sweet clubhouse to share, put a boat on the lake, build a basketball court, soccer field...
I'm getting off track. The point is that we'd have a nice little community with neighbors that we actually liked.
Anyway, I had another idea. I have a certain brother who is headed in the wrong direction, career-wise. Academic probation or academic suspension or whatever. I'm not going to name names. It may or may not be Jacob.
In our little community, grass will need to be mowed, roofs will need to be mended, walls will need to be painted, and toilets will need to be unclogged.
So we kill two birds with one stone. We build a modest shack on the property with a toilet, a chair, and a World of Warcraft-ready computer. We let this unnamed brother move his family into the shack and feed them in return for maintenance services. We'll even give him a uniform, a clipboard, and a Nextel radio.
*Beep* "Go ahead."
"We've got a clogged toilet in the upstairs bathroom, house 2."
"10-4. I'll be right there."
Beautiful.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Chicks and Bikes
I have always thought it was cool when girls ride motorcycles--even sportbikes. In a couple of years I see myself cruising around the Missouri countryside on my CBR600 with Celeste zipping along behind (or in front) on her own bike. When I have mentioned this to Celeste or my sisters, it has brought up several doubts and concerns regarding women and motorcycles.
So I am seeking some feedback. Thus, the Chicks and Bikes Poll on the right. Take 2 seconds and click your answer(s).
So I am seeking some feedback. Thus, the Chicks and Bikes Poll on the right. Take 2 seconds and click your answer(s).
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Lost
Last night was the season finale of Lost. Lost and I have had an erratic relationship. After the first season I vowed never to watch it again. I was sucked back in.
So if you want a creative, intelligent alternative to the moronic medical dramas and reality contest shows, catch up on Lost before the final season. This show isn't for casual, mindless TV watchers. It's for people who demand that a little bit of thought go into their entertainment.
Why I Hate It
After every episode during the first season I was left saying, "What the...?" Everything was built up to the final episode when so many questions would finally be answered. As the final episode drew nearer and nearer to a close, I realized that NO questions would be answered. In fact, MORE questions were raised. When the final episode left me saying the most bewildered "What the...?" of all, I was furious. What a waste of my time! I will never watch that stupid show again!
Why I Love It
With nothing else on TV but reality TV garbage, cop/lawyer/medical dramas, and comedies that don't tickle my funny, I was left with one alternative--Lost. And so I hung in there, season after season, until the mysteries of the island finally began to be answered. And honestly, the long wait made the answers more gratifying.
Lost isn't your typical drama. It's intelligent and inventive. I can usually predict what will happen in other TV shows (who is the last person you'd think would do it--that's who did it [Nina]), but Lost keeps breaking the rules. (Although, I did guess correctly what was in the box last night because I am a super genius.) The cliches that plague other dramas are absent in Lost. The characters are all crappy people (con-men, murderers, drug addicts) but they are deep and sophisticated. And the show is set in a different world, not the same world we are trying to take a break from when we watch TV. And the mark of a good drama is that it makes you say, "Whoah!" a lot, right? Last night there were about five good "Whoah!"s.
So if you want a creative, intelligent alternative to the moronic medical dramas and reality contest shows, catch up on Lost before the final season. This show isn't for casual, mindless TV watchers. It's for people who demand that a little bit of thought go into their entertainment.
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